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confessions
of a cyberpunk
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Style
and finesse. That's what it's really all about. All through
school they're always telling me that its what's on the inside
that counts, which is really not true when it comes to girls,
but when it comes to customizing your computer, the inside
is what counts. Sure you could go out and buy a green IMac
and then think you are cool and have style, but we all know
that's nothing but a lie. That requires no thought, and people
won't think better of you for having a colored computer. Now
for a fashionable guy like myself, I did a little looking
into worthless programs and things that can make you the envy
of all your friends.
First off, the easiest way to give your computer some style
is the desktop picture. Sure you could leave it as the Microsoft
logo, or maybe have a picture of your family up there, but
everyone but you knows your family is pretty grotesque looking,
so why would you want to show that off? Now there are an abundance
of places all over the internet with cool looking backgrounds,
and I have a few select favorites I'd like to quickly share
with you.
K7group.com is a collection of dudes that make nifty 3D pictures
to use as a background. Now a lot of them are pretty abstract,
and they also have a lot of neat looking landscapes, not a
bad place to check out.
DigitalBlasphemy.com is a step up if you ask me. They have
less abstract and weird pictures, and more down to earth wicked
pics. The downside to that, unfortunately, is that you can
only get your hands on about 25 of them because they want
you to pay money to get a membership. I'm not about to pay
money for a picture, come on now!
The last place I'm going to talk about quick is CognitiveDistortion.com.
They've definitely got some rad pics and you don't need to
be a member to see them. Landscapes, 3D designs, space pictures
and more. This site is a great place to find a picture that
will make those around say, "Dude, that rocks."
The screen saver is another big issue. Now I look around and
I see two kinds of screen savers, either it's the weak starfield,
or it's the idiotic text that scrolls across the screen in
different colors.
Basically, none of the screen savers that come with Windows
are going to help you pick up chicks. Also, all that time
that the screen saver is up, your computer is sitting there
being worthless, might as well make it productive for someone,
huh? Well I've found a solution to satisfy both the style
and the efficiency areas.
SETI@Home (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) is a
screen saver available at http://setiathome.berkeley.edu.
You download the file and install it like you've installed
so many other things before. It sets itself as the default
screen saver and after X minutes it goes into action. See
nearest I figure, those big satellites that pick up radio
waves from outer space don't have enough computer power to
screen them all, so you download a radio unit and decode it
on your computer, therefore you're helping to better mankind
by doing nothing. Now I don't know for sure, but if you find
E.T., I think they give you like $25 or something. Well anyway,
it looks neat and you can tell people what your screen saver
is all about. Basically it rocks.
So I was reading something, I don't remember what, and they
mentioned a mouse odometer. Yeah, that's right, a little program
that tracks how far your little mouse goes in a given day.
It's a small little program that's pretty neat. I've had it
for about a week, and I've pushed my mouse almost 12 miles
already. Did you know that so far my mouse has traveled the
equivalent of Mount Everest a little over three times? Yeah,
well it has, and it's also done a bunch of other things that
you can bring up in your "mileage statement." Available at
www.introspectsoftware.com/Odometer/
you just download and install. Now it'll give you an annoying
little message whenever you start up Windows and you can register
it to get rid of the message, or just learn to live with it.
Basically it's a neat little program that adds a little finesse
to your computer time.
Now if you're willing to go all out to impress people, I've
got two programs for you. WindowFX and WindowsBlinds. Now
the first one, WindowFX, lets you customize some elements
of your desktop. For example, if I open a new window, it just
doesn't magically appear, cause that's just ugly, but instead
the whole window fades in. Oh yeah, you'd better believe it's
sweet. Also it does other things like makes the windows semi-transparent
when you move them and what not. Not a bad program to check
out.
Now WindowsBlinds is the ULTIMATE in customization. It retails
for more than I like, but does some pretty cool stuff. Everything
about Windows is customized, the toolbar, the windows that
you open, the menubars, everything. With thousands of different
styles to choose from you can make your computer look like
a taxi cab, or give it an alien kind of feel. Currently mine
is set to a futuristic setting which makes everything look
high tech so that way people that shouldn't be on my computer
get confused and don't touch anything. Both of these programs
are available at www.stardock.net.
If you are really serious about making your computer look
sweet, it's the way to go.
Now that's not the end of my ways to make your computer look
groovin', but this is the end of my article. Maybe one day
if I feel like it, I'll let you in on a little something I
like to call the "foolproof way to make your computer look
cool and pick up chicks at the same time" plan. This is my
little way of getting out to the world and saying, "Hey! I
don't like ugly computers!" So take my advice and add a little
flair and zest to your computer. Until next time, this is
Grand Master D saying, "Shower daily."
The Cyberpunk is known on the street as Dusty Kraft and
can be reached for a hot date at [email protected]
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