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Confessions
of a cyberpunk
Assorted
things that rock
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Happy
birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday, dear
Dusty. Happy birthday to me. What, you didn't know? Yes,
it is my birthday this month, and it's still not too late
to send me something pretty. This month is also my 11th issue.
Wow, that's a lot of Cyberpunks, isn't it? You'd better believe
it is. I've covered a lotta ground during this time, and I'm
thinking it's due up for recaps, updates, and miscellaneous
tidbits of worthless information.
Now I want to start things off slow and just give you a few
thoughts of mine. If you don't have a cable modem, get one.
Also, if you don't put bananas on your cereal, you may not
be getting enough potassium. You'd better check into that.
OK, now I'm going to kick it up a notch. 11 months ago my
first article was about Napster and all the goodness that
it provides for those skimpy in coin department, in the months
that followed Napster was really getting hit hard, and after
all that time, it's still here.
Soon, however, it might have a little catch. The catch being
a monthly service fee, which is good, yet, very bad. it's
good because if you download one CD, you're already making
money on the deal, but the bad side is much worse. Who's going
to pay to download music? I'm certainly not, if you are cunning
enough on the net, you know that there are numerous other
places to get your mp3s. The nice part about Napster, though,
was that there were a lot of people with a wide variety of
music connected. With the smaller services, it'll be a lot
harder to find those elusive songs from back in the day. Something
to look out for. My advice? Download as much as you can. Doesn't
matter if you like the music or not, you'll learn to enjoy
it.
Next up is rad Websites. A dude asked me once upon a time,
where do I go for fun on the Internet? And every time I got
a different answer. It just depends on my mood. Lately, Macromedia
Flash has been my pal. With sites like The Romp (www.romp.com)
and NewGrounds (www.newgrounds.com)
dishing out hilarious and clever anImations and games, it's
always a new experience visiting those sites. Be warned that
most of the content is geared towards stunning young chaps
like myself, but I'm sure anyone can appreciate the antics
of Bill and Ted on The Romp (Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy,
that is.) Also, a party favorite of mine is The Spark (www.thespark.com).
Now the dudes up in here came up with highly scientific equations
formed into tests that determine a variety of things for you.
There's tests to tell you what kind of personality you have
(kinda lame), how many people you'll have sex with in your
life, how pure you are, when you're going to die and a variety
of other things that'll make you feel better about yourself.
What else do we got? Oh yeah, on the Internet topic, Id like
to talk a little about Spam mail. If you don't know, Spam
mail is the piles of worthless crap you get in your mailbox
day after day. Kind of makes you wonder how these businesses
and porn pushers get your e-mail address, Doesn't it? Well
There's a few different ways that they get their hands on
the info. First of which is chain letters. Oh wow give me
a break. Whoever sends out the most chain letters, gets the
most porn mail. That's just how it works.
The spammer sends out a lame chain letter about some dude
with testicular cancer and in 2 weeks when he gets it back,
he's got a list of 1000 e-mail addresses to advertise too.
If you get one, read it and be done with it. By the way, two
more tips on that note: don't reply saying Take me off your
list, that just lets them know it's an active account; And
don't forward the I hate chain letter chain letter. Why? it's
a chain letter!!! OK, next up is when you fill out information
on Websites where you gotta input your e-mail address.
No real way around it, except to get a Hotmail account or
something where all the crap will get sent too. The third
way to deal with it is to block every e-mail except from the
e-mail addresses you specify. Ill work 100% of the time, but
you wont receive that e-mail from your high school crush that
wants to get together for a one night stand. Spammers are
like the germinating poison ivy seeds. If you don't water
them, they cant screw you over.
Well you know what? I've run out of room. This happened last
month too. Oh yeah, there's a whole bunch of last month's
article that you didn't get to see cause I rambled too long.
Maybe Ill release a "Cyberpunk Too Hot for the Pressroom magazine?"
Would you buy it? Well, next month is another special occasion,
in which you can find the sequel to Assorted Things that Rock.
P.S.: Steal this magazine!!! Yeah, I know it's free, but do
it all suspicious-like so people think you're a thief.
The Cyberpunk is known on the street as Dusty Kraft. This
handsome fella can be reached at [email protected]
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