'Bad Santa,' bad movie By Tom Murphy News-Chronicle Los Angeles, Hollywood and environs, those wonderful addresses that gave us Tim Robbins, Barbara Streisand and Sean Penn really outdid themselves this Yuletide. First comes "Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat," a not-so-funny piece of celluloid from Mike Myers. He's one of those late night television take-up-times and just another in the long, long list of undistinguished alumni of Saturday Night Live. Dr. Seuss wrote lots of wonderful stuff (there is no more appropos word to describe his rhyme and rhythm) for kids. Myers bastardizes all that with a film rated PG (not acceptable for children) because it contains bathroom humor and other innuendo. Also from tinseltown this season comes "Bad Santa," a R-rated something about a drunk and stealing and the holidays and kids and families and smashing this and that. Director Bo Welch should put it back in the can. It's obvious that all of California's ailments cannot be traced to former Gov. Gray Davis. Or the repetitive vagaries of nature such as wildfires and ensuing mudslides. There's no denying the artistic talents of Robbins, Penn and especially Streisand. But that should not give the media carte blanche in reporting their doings and opinions off-screen and stage. No more than we should be force-fed the political opinions of Ray Lewis, Muhammad Ali, Cal Ripken or Shaq O'Neill simply because they're professional athletes. May there be a lot of coal in a lot of stockings hung with not a lot of care in LA. It's a shame. INTERESTING The Green Bay Department of Public Works ran an interesting public notice last month. It centered on ceating of a Storm Water Utility mandated by the ever-vigilant State Department of Natural Resources. Unfunded, of course. The utility must account for runoff from paved surfaces, get the flow to a retention pond and let "foreign" objects settle to the bottom before decanting or otherwise directing the waters to rivlets, creeks, streams, rivers, bays, lakes and oceans; in that order, of course. That's news but not news. What is news is that the notice said the utility "would operate and be funded in a manner similar to that of the Sanitary Sewer District and the Green Bay Water Utility that have been in existence for many years." If that's the case, it follows that it is very, very possible, with the enlightened leadership of the DPW's Carl Weber and "new" Mayor Jim Schmitt, to create a METROPOLITAN WATER AUTHORITY. (We've been preaching this for more than three years, now. It's nice to see we finally got company.) Enough of this divide and conquer masquerade, complaints about being a big user but having only one vote (if Thornberry Creek home owners are paying most of the taxes in Hobart, how come they doesn't have most of the seats on the village board; If Green Bay has the most miles of pipe in the Metropolitan Sewerage District, how come it doesn't have the proportionate number of commissioners?) and other specious arguments and side deals that threaten to sidetrack a sensible solution to potable water problems in both the city and its suburbs. Maybe it is time to seriously consider a county government structure like that in Marion County, Ind. That's one government for Indianapolis and immediate environs, folks. And it works! We don't want to think Ashwaubenon, which now is balking at full-blown membership in the suburban Authority, has worked a separate deal with Green Bay for water. But the city did swap water for land with the Town of Scott, so wondering aloud about other deals is not out of place. Instead of paying consultants to figure out ways to extend their contracts, the city and suburbs would do better to put accountants to work and determine the worth of each community's present investment in drinking water. Next comes a second Lake Michigan pipeline financed in an equitable manner (pumpage, equalized valuation, growth factors, etc. etc.). Jettison the egos and reasonable people will be able to figure it out. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Murphy, a longtime local business writer, writes a weekly column for This Week. Contact him by calling 920-432-2941, sending mail to P.O. Box 2467, Green Bay, WI 54306-2467 or by sending e-mail to [email protected].