On dirty ponds Column By Tom Murphy Bureaucrats get criticized from all sides by all shapes and sizes. It's the thing to do - and much of it is hard-earned. Some knuckle-rapping is not deserved. But it has been justified when the edicts are based on fantasies from the pages of university curricula and carved from airs of superiority and arrogance. Such, we think, is the case with the retention/detention ponds the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has mandated for urban areas. Most likely because it is the easiest way out (and also because they think an awfully lot like EPA) the Wisconsin Department of Natural The Wisconsin Department of Natural Resourses agrees: These ponds will abate much of the urban runoff to rivers and streams. Perhaps. We shall see. In the meantime, each municipality shall decide what it wants (hopefully "needs") to charge property owners - not just property taxpayers - to build the ponds. The cost formula is based on the guesstimated amount of impervious area on a given tract. Creation of the detention/retention ponds ostensibly will filter urban stormwaters before they discharge to creeks and streams, rivulets and rivers. For what it's worth, we find the concept is somewhat lacking: 1. Large pools attract flocks of once-migrant waterfowl (check the pond on Libal Street at St. Anne's Episcopal Church in De Pere). The large Canada geese and their smaller but just as messy brethren, create their own refuse problem. In addition to making their own deposits, they offer the distinct possibility of becoming a neighborhood noise nuisance. 2. Large pools can and do become stagnant. This plays right into the hands of West Nile carriers and makes one wonder if the left hand of the regulator ever knows what the right hand might be up to. (The aerated Issac Walton League pond on St. Norbert Abbey grounds is the better method). 3. On one hand, the do-gooders tell us to get rid of sources of long-standing water: used tires, holding depressions in large yards and gardens, perhaps even bird baths. They attract the mosquito which nips the infected avian and brings West Nile within arm's length. On the other hand, the do-gooders require us to pay for ponds that well may be the source of this ailment or even worse. And aerating them would add not unmeaningful costs. 4. When exotic species flood the Great Lakes (most often borne by ocean-going transport), some cities dump raw sewerage, and antibiotics are becoming less and less effective in fighting waterborne disease, it is not the time to put hard-earned dollars into what promises to be ineffective storm water run-off control. It is time to reorder our priorities. Why municipalities - with their elected federal, state and local representatives - did not fight to kill this waste of time and effort and money is amazing. Because all stormwater and runoff never will be shunted to the ponds, the effort may be more fruitless than costly. When bureaucrats push for "remedies" such as retention ponds, their mandate must be to thoroughly think the matter through. Too often it's easier to listen to the tree-huggers - especially the well-heeled - who, ensconced in their exclusive piece of Eden, want all of us to pay for the few. Curbside: It had to be a Freudian slip that caused us to label Paul Gigot an alumnus of Premontre High School. The misstep came in the recent column on Wisconsin Public Television's decision not to pick up his television program. WPT says it may reconsider in January. Gigot, we were reminded by a dozen or so e-mails and lots of conversation, is a graduate of Abbot Pennings High School. At Pennings, in addition to his other talents, Gigot was star quarterback on the Squires football team. The Freudian alighment comes from our ties to Central Catholic High School, the ages-old rival of St. Norbert High School which is the precourser to Pennings. One way or the other, the Norbertine Order can take some credit.......Jim and Jody Beauvais are the new owners of Lazy Gecko's restaurant and bar at Reid and Third streets in De Pere. "Since my days at (St. Norbert), I have had a dream of opening a pizza place near the college," Jim said. It's happened and he couldn't get much nearer. To Matt Johnson, wherever you are: We did not say that WPT/PBS shows were "free." We said we were told by WPT's Moira Harrington that there is no additional cost for a PBS show if the outlet is a member of the organization.